a) During the break I wasted my time completely.
b) During the break Dan wasted his time completely.
cOnclusion: We have both wasted our time completely.
Several times I actually felt "kind of motivated" to do something. Fruitless attempts to put "effort" into the converter and transform it into "work" has led me to conclude.
Work is equal to force times distance. Is wrong.
Work = Motivation^2. Screw the force, screw the distance.
So, upon coming back into school, I realized that there was something I needed to write...I was GOING to write...over the week. Without further ado, and due to the fact that I am, technically, having an out of body experience (aka not paying attention) in MATH 152, I shall present to you...
Grand Theft Auto: Surrey City
Firstly, I'd like to put my usual disclaimer. I am a Triad member from Hong Kong who has multiple gangster relatives and people out to kill me. Wait, sorry, that's my brother. No, wait, sorry again, that's my cousin. But anyyyywaysssss...
a)I'm not saying being a gangster is bad.
b)I've played GTA before...3 years back.
c)Fact: The Police Force sucks.
d)Fact: Canada's justice system sucks shit. :End Disclaimer:
In the face of recent shooting crimes in Surrey, I have reached yet another ephiphany that will undoubtedly make me disgustingly rich, amazingly popular, and overwhelmingly headhunted by gangsters, police, and civilians alike. That is...
Why don't we represent all the crimes, gang warfare, and drug trafficking going on in Vancouver...all in a single bundled package, available for consumer use?
Before you start raging at me about "Vancouver Pride", allow me to say a few words. Now, quote me on this...
You can shove your Vancouver Pride down the drain.
Now that the matter is resolved, allow me to list the mass plethora of pros related to my idea, and then declare a couple nonexistant and negligible cons related to my idea. I've deiced to do this in an easy, accessible manner, naturally for your viewing ease.
PROS
a) With this, we can finally justify the hatred and insults that video game unenthusiasts have been wrongfully throwing at video games. They want violence? Can we do it?
YES WE CAN!
Of course, the reaction to these unethusiasts will still be the same : whine more, I'll shove the cheese down your mouth later.
b) With this, we can finally teach our children the effects of....MARAJUANA. LSD. CRACK. ALCOHOL. PROSTITUTES. DOWNTOWN EASTSIDE. GANG WARS. TEDDY BEARS. SPACE INVADERS. EDWARD HAN. AND OTHER RELATED PROFANITIES.
God knows they should experience this in a game, before stepping out into the real world.
c) With this, we can make a smash hit on the PS3, XBOX360, TOSHIBA LAPTOPS, MACS, the WII, and of course, THE ATARI 2600! Naturally, the sales records of this game in developement will break records unbroken since the introduction of TETRIS! OVER 9 COPIES WILL SELL. ALL IN VANCOUVER. You could practically call it: Tetris, the 2nd Coming.
d) With this, everybody in the world, not just those in Vancouver, will know of the efforts that Vancouver is making to "clean up" for the Olympics. God knows everybody should know the "proud" efforts our city is making!
e to z) Insert more awesome reasons here.
NOW TO THE...
cons.
a)wtf is a con?
b)conjob?
c)that's in the game too!
THAT IS ALL!
Now that I have applied the laws of propaganda to my idea, allow me to show you a "general overview" of the game. Naturally it's very classified data, like, Zone51 stuff, so uhh..you know, keep it secret. Or you might find me outside your window at night.
With a refridgerator.
The player starts off, being able to select his class. He can become one of three classes.
a) Civilian - The weaklings. Limited in his ability to equip weapons, restricted to using metal sticks, crowbars, illegal handguns, hunting rifles, cars, lamp posts, home made explosives, and of course, teddy bears. They level up by "Increasing Vancouver's Olympic Reputation" through a variety of in game quests.
b) Gangster - The awesome dudes. Uses anything from crowbars to rocket launchers to satellite lasers to nuclear warheads to SARS to teddy bears...and the dreaded...bunny rabbit. They level up by just being badass and shooting the shit out of things, and doing gangster shiz.
c) Policeman - The wtf buddies. They don't need weapons, they just drive around in their cop cars and eat donuts and drink coffee. They level up by doing completely nothing at all. As long as they remain passive they will gain experience. Even better if they run from the scene of a crime.
The objective of the game:
Level up, and become a person of renown in the city of Vancouver. More quests lead to more reputation, subsequently the player's "Wanted Level" will increase, and eventually cops will do NOTHING AT ALL TO YOU!
The Wanted Level:
An important element of the game, determines how aggressive the cops are against you, ranks go up from 1 to 5 as you do more crimes.
1 - Cops will call in the RCMP, and together they will hunt you down and label you a terrorist.
2 - Cops will see you and frame you for robberies, crimes, and generally kick the shit out of you.
3 - Cops will flip a coin to decide whether to a) shoot you, b) run away, c) eat a donut, d) kick that homeless at the eastside, e) turn on the siren for fun, f) camp out with other cops and have storytime.
4 - Cops will watch as you commit crimes, then flee when you notice them.
5 - Cops will pay you to spare them.
The Weapons:
Of course, who could miss out on the weapons in the game? Everything from the awesome to the mundane to the ultimately deadly...for example...
That Tree Over There (TTOT) - Awesome melee weapon, take them and whack them against the tree. Be careful you might make environmentalists angry.
The Rubber Ducky - Enough to make any terrorist go HOLYFCKRUNFORYOURLIVES! The rubber ducky is 90% artificial byproducts, and awesomely toxic! It'll probably kill you while you try to use it!
The Handgun - If you picked it up from a cop, it's actually empty. If you picked it up from a gangster, you have a full magazine. If you bought it as a civilian, shoot yourself.
That Refridgerator - The ultimate weapon in terms of efficiency, it's a literal Carnot Engine! 100% work converted into 100% energy, all in the form of CHILLING YOUR FOOD! Use this weapon sparingly.
....NOW I BELIEVE I SHALL...
TAKE A BREAK!
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